08 November 2013

Setting and keeping boundaries to help guard our heart and stay focused on the priorities in our life


Boundaries sometimes may have a negative connotation but they are definitely necessary in our life and in ministry to maintain a healthy and balanced life in our being, space, and soul. When we fail to set boundaries, we set ourselves up for failure in many areas of our life.

Boundaries according to the dictionary simply states: "something that indicates bounds or limits." And we must set limits and have bounds in order to survive breakdowns, stress, and becoming overwhelmed. We must learn to say no, realize when enough is enough, and not allow everyone in our personal space to see our heart and see our vulnerabilities and weaknesses unless they've earned the right.  And they earn that right by building trust in a reciprocal, continual, consistent, and loving relationship over a period of time. Then and only then, do they have the right to proceed through your boundary. Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way.  I let any and everyone in my space trying to love and please everyone and there were times when I was emotionally hurt, rejected, taken advantage of, and totally misunderstood. This happens to all of us; therefore, we must be intentional about setting boundaries of who is allowed to cross that line and get to know people first before opening our heart completely. I think this is wise in all types of relationships and even when we are dating someone.  Set boundaries in sharing, being too intimate too soon (abstain) as well as your dating experiences. Also, we should not put our friends, jobs, personal activities, or ministry before God or before family. We must prioritize and limit the time we spend with God first and family second and then we can give or be a part of other things. 

When it comes to ministry, these same principles apply and I try to interject them in my life and ministry. These principles briefly summarized are: 1) Set limits, 2) God first, 3) Family second, 4) Guard your heart and don't let everyone in immediately, 5) Say No when necessary, and 6) Relent and release the bounds as God leads, trust allows, and you feel comfortable enough to do so.

Here's my interview with Rev. Felecia Smith where we have a candid conversation about boundaries and setting limits: there's a line in the sand, shall I cross it".  Enjoy and your comments are welcomed below.  Hit the link below.