08 May 2013

Guest Writer Terry Scott shares-- Men: Why Are You Still Single???" By Terry Scott

Men: Why Are You Still Single???"
Written By: Terry Scott

Don’t you just love this question?lol It’s always funny to see people attempt to use this question as a pick up line or some sort of opening to a conversation. When you really think about it, how do you really answer this question? Do most men even know why they’re still single? Some may attempt to blame it on “the lack of good women,” while some others may simply give the reply, “I’m just doin’ me right now…” In any event, whether you dig the question or not, it really is a pretty valid and relevant question once examined a little closer. Let’s be honest, MOST men desire to be married or at least desire to be in a committed relationship one day. What man doesn’t want to come home to a loving wife who adores him and respects his leadership? What single brotha do you know who doesn’t desire a hot meal and some good sex waiting for him every day after work?!?! Let’s face it, we all are made to need and be needed by the opposite sex! God has left a need within us that was purposely formed to be filled by a good woman, and I’m not just talking about sex.

So why are so many eligible men opting to remain single when God clearly told us that it’s not good for Man to be alone? Well, for starters, I truly believe that the average man of God desires to be all that God has called him to be BEFORE taking that big leap of faith (marriage). He wants to lead with the respect and admiration of those who follow him. He desires to provide for his family and give them the world. Men take pride in providing and protecting. When he cannot make that happen, many times he feels that it would be better to remain single until he’s able to provide his future wife with everything that she needs and desires. The problem with this is that many of us seem to forget that the role of the wife isn’t to sit around and spend his money and look pretty. The role of the wife is to be a Help Mate, a Helper and an Addition to what was already established in his life. Men, women are here to help us! Don’t spend your entire life preparing alone. Some things God won’t even allow to come to pass until you bring a Help Mate into the equation (please hear me). Any woman that makes you feel like you’re not good enough probably isn’t your Help Mate in the first place. She’s probably a distraction and a user who’s just looking for a free ride. A wife is prepared to push you and help you become BETTER. A distraction is purposed to make you Broke (or Broker), Busted and Bitter. Please know how to discern the difference between the two, which leads me to my next point!

Another reason that many men opt to remain single is the fear of being STUCK with the wrong woman. Within these days and times, there are so many women who are incredibly desperate to be married. I’m not trying to woman bash in any way, I’m just keeping it 100. Of course I’m not talking about all women, but there’s definitely enough to make a significant impression on the male psyche. Do you really know what that looks like in our eyes as men??? When a woman is desperate for marriage, we can see that she really doesn’t want us as an individual, she just wants to be married. When you marry out of desperation instead of genuine love and commitment, you end up extremely disappointed after you discover that marriage isn’t all fun and roses. As men, there’s nothing worse than being stuck with a woman who’s only with us for the benefits and not for love and purpose. This fear has cause many men to take a step back and negatively analyze and stereotype the feminine culture as a whole. The problem with this is that when we as men see a multitude of women behaving like this, sometimes we make the mistake of prejudging before truly getting to know the individual(s). There are some marvelous, marriage material out there fellas! Don’t allow what you see right in front of you to discourage you and cause you to settle or live in fear! If you do your part, God will step in and do His!

As I conclude, I want to end by addressing one of the biggest and most successful issues that I see distracting many of my fellow Christian brotha’s today. The issue that I see plaguing my brotha’s is this…”SIDELINE CHICKS!” What is a “Sideline Chick?” These are the women that are used as time fillers until something better comes along. Men, holding on to someone that you know you really don’t want is unfair to the both of you. A real woman is going to see right through the games and kick you to the curb with the quickness! If you’re believing God for a wife, you need to prepare for it. Part of preparing to pursue is emptying your closets and releasing dead weight. Any woman in your life that isn’t pushing you to greatness is both a distraction and a dead weight! How can we trust that God created the heavens and the earth, but can’t believe Him to provide you with a Godly wife??? Release those dead end relationships, not only for you, but the person that you’re using. Free them to get themselves together and be found by someone who really desires to commit to them.

Not all single men deal with the problems that I’ve just listed. These are just some of the issues that I see many of my Christian brotha’s deal with on a daily basis. So, much respect to those who are truly preparing themselves to pursue the wife that God has for you. Much respect to all those men out there who are living a life of integrity and purity! God will surely reward you for your diligence and boldness to stand tall in a world and society with little to no standards! None of us are perfect. We all have our struggles and challenges as individuals, but always remember, with Christ, Nothing Is Impossible! Hope this helped someone…Stay Blessed!

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